The Misogyny Behind the Hailey Bieber and Selena Gomez Discourse

Since the Hailey Bieber and Selena Gomez discourse on social media has calmed down, it’s important to look at the undertones of misogyny within the online discussions surrounding this drama. 

Singer and actress Selena Gomez, from the Hulu show Only Murders in the Building, had an on and off again relationship with singer Justin Bieber that was confirmed in 2011 until 2018. Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin, a model and daughter of actor Stephen Baldwin, got married in September 2018. 

The recent discourse was set off by a series of events all taking place through social media.

• The recent drama started with a video Hailey posted on TikTok with Kendall Jenner and Justine Skye using the audio “and I’m not saying she deserved it, but I’m saying God’s timing is always right.” Fans speculated this TikTok was directed at Selena since this came out around the time she was being body shamed for the photos paparazzi took while she was on vacation in a bikini with people commenting on her weight. Hailey took the video down.

• Then, Selena posted a video to her TikTok stories in February about how she accidentally laminated her eyebrows. Later, Kylie Jenner posted an up-close picture of herself to her Instagram story with the caption “this was an accident????” Kylie proceeded to post a screenshot of a close-up eyebrow shot on FaceTime with who fans believed to be Hailey Bieber.

Several fans have come to the defense of Selena against Hailey’s alleged mean girl behavior towards her. It’s never okay to be mean to someone and while standing up for someone is a good thing, some fans have taken it to the extreme. There have been comments on Hailey Bieber’s looks with people comparing her to Vladimir Putin. It’s the equivalent of putting one woman down to uplift another.  

I also noticed several comments on social media about people not knowing who Hailey was before she married Justin Bieber and being glad that no one really knows her outside of her relationship with Justin. Why is only knowing a woman for her association with her husband something to be proud of? Drama aside, Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber are both successful women in their own right. Selena has her own cosmetics company called Rare Beauty, released hit songs such as Lose you to love me and is a talented actress. Likewise, Hailey Bieber is a model who has been featured in Vogue magazine and has her own skincare line called Rhode Skin. Yet, they both have their public identity forever attached to Justin. 

There are people who want Justin and Selena to get back together and have this idea that they are soulmates who will find their way back to each other. It’s a similar treatment to the shipping of fictional characters within fandoms. In a way, it’s dehumanizing. Celebrities are still real people with thoughts and feelings. We only see glimpses into their lives through social media posts and don’t know them personally. Fans can only speculate on their relationship from what we see on camera. They make comparisons to how Justin smiled and wore matching Jerseys with Selena, but don’t know what went on in their relationship behind closed doors. Similar to how fans see videos of Justin closing door on Hailey or walking ahead of her and are convinced he doesn’t like her. Or leave comments that they’re happy Selena got out because this behavior seems toxic and abusive while displaying no compassion for his wife even if they believe he’s toxic. 

This situation reminded me of the trope of the other woman. The other woman is basically a woman in the way of a relationship. This relationship could be a marriage and the other woman could be the husband’s mistress that is “destroying” the relationship. In the case of Selena and Hailey, even though Hailey is Justin’s wife fans see her as the other woman in this scenario since Selena was with Justin longer. Also, Justin and Hailey married only months after he and Selena officially ended their relationship. Usually, there is little to no blame placed on the man in these scenarios similar to how Justin has received essentially no backlash. I have seen the hashtag free Justin repeatedly on TikTok. It takes away any accountability on Justin’s part and infantilizes him.  

Whether they are famous or not, women should not be insulted for their looks or treated as accessories in relation to their husbands or significant others. It is important to recognize the humanity in people we do not know even online.