Kink of the Week: Sadism and masochism
Sex is not a topic of casual conversation, and in certain situations can almost be considered rude or inappropriate to talk about at all. We all know it happens and that people “do it” in a myriad of ways.
Of the many ways people have sex, some have kinks and are in the kink community. A kink, simply put, is “the use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies.”
Our kink(s) of the week are sadism (the sexual pleasure or gratification in the infliction of pain and suffering upon another person) and masochism (the sexual pleasure or gratification of having pain or suffering inflicted upon the self, often consisting of sexual fantasies or urges for being beaten, humiliated, bound, tortured, or otherwise made to suffer, either as an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure).
Sadism and masochism are not inherently sexual, but the kink community has taken this idea of someone who wants pain inflicted on them paired with someone who wants to inflict pain, add a power dynamic in the mix, and you have a kink.
Though the DSM-V defines these acts as paraphilias,” a condition characterized by abnormal sexual desires, typically involving extreme or dangerous activities,” however; there is nothing “wrong” with these acts. Who are we to decide how people live their sex lives?
However, in any sexual act, there always needs to be some form of consent and a clear way of stopping the situation. Some people agree on safety words that when spoken the scene stops immediately and others use a red light/green light system. Everyone involved should always have the option to stop the scene for any reason. Safety in a sexual situation should always be discussed before having sex.
Recent films like Fifty Shades of Grey introduced kinky topics to the bedroom discussion across the world, but it also begged a few questions. In the film, there was a contract between Ana and Christian, but even then, Ana was a virgin. How was she supposed to know what she was agreeing to before having sex? Does that still count as informed consent? The problem with that movie is some people believe it is how BDSM is performed, when in reality, there is so much more that goes into the logistics and safety of sex beforehand.
Stay safe, be consensual, and don’t be afraid to be clear and specific with your partners about what is and is not okay when having sex.
